HV blog

Sindicacion RSS :: Escuchar Musica mientras nos lees

Mrs. Garrison:    Principal Victoria, it is wrong! [she's at the principal's office, her back to the principal's desk.] It is wrong and I simply will not do it! [walks back to the desk] I care about my students, and I will not fill their heads with lies! [pounds the desk for emphasis] I am NOT teaching evolution in my class!! [Mr. Mackey is also present]

Principal Victoria:    Mrs. Garrison, evolution is in the school curriculum. We have to teach it.

Mrs. Garrison:    Evolution is a theory! A hare-breained theory that says I'm a monkey! I am not a monkey!! I'm a woman!

Mr. Mackey:    M, m'kay. Ya-you realize evolution has been pretty much uhhh… proven.

Mrs. Garrison:    I warn you, Principal Victoria! Those students are not prepared to hear this stuff!

Principal Victoria:    Our students want to learn, Mrs. Garrison, and they're mature enough to handle anything.
    
Cartman:    How long until Nintendo Wii comes out now?!

Stan:    It's still three weeks.

Cartman:    Oh God… [shivers like someone in withdrawal] Okay, how long now?

Kyle:    Will you shut up already?! [Mrs. Garrison enters and isn't too happy about her lesson]

Mrs. Garrison:    All right kids, it is now my job to teach you the theory of evolution.

Butters:    Oh boy!

Mrs. Garrison:    Now I, for one, think evolution is a bnuch of BULLCRAP. But I've been told I have to teach it anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this: [goes up to a large poster of evolution and begins pointing things out with her pointer.] In the beginning we were all fish. Okay? Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its [waves his left hand limply] mutant fish hands… and it had buttsex with a squirrel or something and made this. [points to a rodent] retard frog squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a… monkey fish-frog… And then this monkey fish-frog had buttsex with that monkey, and… that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and… that made you! [faces the class. A new girl is seated in the front row, looking around] So there you go! You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys havin' buttsex with a fish-squirrel! Congratulations!

Mrs. Garrison:    Yeah? You see? I knew that would happen.

Father:    Principal Victoria, we are a devout Catholic family! Do you mind telling me why my daughter now thinks she's a retarded fish-frog?!

Mrs. Garrsion:    I told you this would happen, didn't I?!

Principal Victoria:    Mr. Triscotti, I wasn't aware that-

Mr. Triscotti:    We have worked years to instill the teachings of Jesus Christ into our daughter, and in one fell swoop, you try to destroy everything we did!

Mrs. Garrsion:    I hear ya.

Principal Victoria:    Sir, if you don't wish your daughter to learn about evolution, then we can pull her out of class.

Mr. Triscotti:    You most certainly will!

Daughter:    But Dad, I want to learn everything.

Mr. Triscotti:    No you don't! Shut up! [takes his daughter and leaves the room]

Mrs. Garrsion:    Well, I told you. We should leave evolution out of the classrooms.

Después de ver esto te viene a la cabeza este vídeo y piensas en lo distintas que se ven las cosas según cómo se miren. 

Technorati Tags: Evolution, Mrs Garrison, South Park

 

Compártelo